


as long as you are with me (there's no place i'd rather be)

by harryydarling



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, basically all fluff tbh, just fluff and pining, lots and lots of pining holy moly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2133795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryydarling/pseuds/harryydarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like, Niall kissed him. It had to mean something. Like it couldn't have just been some spur of the moment 'hey buddy! how are you? lets just quickly press our lips together in a totally platonic way!' thing. There had to have been at least some ulterior motive behind it.</p>
<p>Or at least Zayn hoped.</p>
<p>(or the one where zayn pines a lot and maybe, just maybe, niall feels the same way)</p>
            </blockquote>





	as long as you are with me (there's no place i'd rather be)

**Author's Note:**

> wow ok. so this was just supposed to be a short little drabble of ziall fluff that ive been wanting to write for i dont know how long. but it ended up getting very out of hand and now i have almost 9k of pure fluff and pining. 
> 
> so here you go 
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> oh, and the title is from Clean Bandit's song Rather Be

The boys arrived at the cabin on a late Saturday night. They were all sleeping when they arrived - except Harry who was driving - and had to get woken up in order to make it into Niall's parent's winter cabin. It was a small quaint cabin, with two bedrooms, living room, and kitchen. It was very cozy, the color scheme a nice warm brown and beige.

They were on Christmas Holiday from Uni and this was kind of a yearly routine for the five of them. Each year, the day after Uni got out, they packed up and went to Niall's winter cabin for two weeks, and then went to their respected parent's houses for the actual holiday itself.

With all of them completely knackered after the long drive in Harry's tiny mazda, they were all anxious to figure out who was sleeping where so they could all get some sleep.

It was all unanimously decided that Harry and Louis were going to be sharing a room by themselves. Those two couldn't keep it down if their life depended on it. Niall and Zayn would know, both of their dorm rooms were on either side of Harry's, and Louis stayed over at Harry's more nights than not - Harry's roommate being MIA for 99% of the time.

The next question was which two were going to be able to snag the second bed and who was going to be stuck on the futon in the living room.

"Well, since I have two bum knees and a bad back, I think I should get the bed." Niall offered up.

"Niall, you sound like an old man when you say that." Zayn laughed.

"It's not my fault I was given a defective body." And a beautiful one at that, Zayn thought. But he wouldn't dare say it out loud.

"Okay, so Niall gets one half of the bed. Who gets the other half?" Liam asked, looking at Zayn.

Zayn just shrugged. "I dont know, we could flip a coin?"

"Sounds fair," Liam agreed.

Harry produced a coin from his pocket and looked at Zayn saying "call it" he flipped it and Zayn called heads. He silently prayed that luck would be in his favor today, desperately wanting to room with Niall, even if it was just as friends.

But, alas, fate hated him. "Tails." Harry said and Liam sported a large grin and let out a shout.

"Ha!" Liam said and grabbed his suitcases and hauled them to the room. Zayn just laughed and rolled his eyes. He was disappointed no doubt, but Niall told him endlessly that Zayn was his favorite, no questions asked, so he wasn't too heartbroken about it.

Harry and Niall have known each other practically since birth, and Zayn and Louis have been friends for amost as long. Zayn met Harry in his Soc class and was proud to say that he introduced Louis and Harry. But then again, Harry introduced Zayn to Niall, and now they're practically inseperable, so. And Harry met Liam in the gym one day and he fit in like a missing puzzle piece. And now they were the trouble makers of the campus, slowly climbing up the scales to world domination, or so Louis said.

Zayn would settle for the little world they already have.

Zayn set up the futon, grabbing sheets and blankets and pillows out of the linen closet in the hallway. Afterwards, he went to the kitchen hoping to find something not-stale to eat, but ended up empty handed.

"Hey Ni, we should go food shopping soon, all you have in here are stale saltines!" Zayn shouted.

Niall appeared from the room. "Oooh, give 'em here," he snatched the crackers from his hands, Zayn giving a look of disgust as he pulled one out and ate it.

"You're actually going to eat those?"

"They're not poisonous, Zaynie. Just a little stale, is all." Niall offered one to him but Zayn shook his head, hopelessly endeared by the nickname.

"Your loss." Is all Niall said and retreated back to the room to finish setting his things up.

\--

They all decided that it would be best to wait until the morning to go food shopping, considering its almost midnight and the cabin is back in the woods a little ways. So instead, they decided to get an early night.

So as the other four made their way to their bedrooms, Zayn climbed under the blankets on the futon and settled in to the hard mattress.

He couldn't fall asleep, too busy thinking about how he's been in love with his best friend for the past year and a half.

\--

Finally his thoughts had subsided and he fell asleep. Only to be woken up by someone, very annoyingly, shaking his shoulder. He grumbled, knowing it was still ridiculously early, the sun not even up yet. But the hand on his shoulder was relentless.

"What?" He grumbled not wanting to open his eyes.

"Budge over," the voice whispered, and Zayn would've recognized that voice anywhere.

He opened his eyes to see Niall standing there and immediately moved over, closer to the wall. Niall climbed in next to him, laying on his side, facing Zayn.

"Sorry, mate. I couldn't sleep. Liam is just so bulky and I couldn't get comfortable. I much prefer your scrauny ass," Niall cackled and Zayn couldn't help but laugh with him.

"Umm.. thanks?" Zayn deadpanned. His heart was racing, butterflies in his stomach. The same ones he's had for the entirety of his and Niall's friendship. The one's that remind Zayn everyday how much he's fallen for the boy across from him.

"You're welcome. Now cuddle me. I'm cold." Niall said and Zayn's heart leapt.

The problem was, though, this was all too normal. Him and Niall didn't have a reserved friendship by any means. They've cuddled, talked about everything (well, amost), and have even seen each other naked on occassion (this in particular fueling Zayn's fantasies). So Zayn wasn't hesitant to wrap his arms around the blonde haired boy. Niall buried his face in Zayn's neck and folded his arms so that they were trapped between his and Zayn's chests. Niall smelled like warmth and sunshine and a hint of his cologne. Zayn wished he could bottle it.

He took a deep breath in hopes of settling his beating heart, knowing Niall would be able to feel it.

Zayn could feel Niall whisper words against his neck, but couldn't quite make them out, too busy paying attention to the fact that Niall's lips brushed his neck a bit.

"Hmm?" Zayn hummed.

"I said, what do you want to do tomorrow." Niall repeated, louder. Zayn could still feel his lips brush his neck.

"Mmmm, I dunno. What do you want to do?"

"Uh-uh, Malik. That ain't gonna fly. C'mon, ideas." Zayn could feel Niall's smile and reciprocated it.

"Jeez, pushy." he joked, " Well, we should definitely go food shopping."

Niall looked up at him with his sparkly blue eyes. "Duh, do I look like someone who would forget about _food_ shopping?"

Zayn tilted his head down to look at Niall back and Niall let out a loud laugh. Zayn's eyebrows furrowed, confused.

"Bro, you have a wicked double chin from this angle." Niall cackled louder and reached up to touch Zayn's multiplying chins.

Zayn just swatted Niall's hand away and said, "Shut up. You love me and my chins."

"True shit." Niall said and returned to his place nuzzled against Zayn's neck.

"Well, how about this," Zayn continued. "We go out for breakfast tomorrow, discuss our plans for the day then, and then go food shopping? That way we can talk to the others about it and we don't have to worry about it tonight. Especially not at 3 in the morning."

"Always the innovative thinker," Niall sighed and that was the end of the conversation. They both fell asleep quickly.

\--

The next morning, Zayn woke up pressed against the wall, but the other half of his bed was empty. And everybody else was awake. He got up and went to the bathroom, finally joining the other boys on the couch only a couple feet away from his futon. He sat next to Louis who was tucked under Harry's arm.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Louis said and reached out to ruffle his hair but he was quick enough to duck out of the way, shooting him a glare. "Wow, cranky. Someone didn't sleep very well last night."

Niall piped up from the kitchen, "Not from what I could tell. He was right snoring for most of the night."

The other three looked confused for a second before realization dawned on Louis' face, "Ohh, so you two shared a bed last night?" Louis looked over to Zayn, waggling his eyebrows. Zayn quickly looked over to Niall, making sure he didn't see anything. Luckily, he was still facing away, fiddling with the kettle.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep last night, Liam was taking up most of the bed." Niall said, completely clueless. Everybody knew about Zayn's feelings for Niall except for Niall. Which was good, how it was supposed to be, and how it should stay. And he tried to convey that in his warning glare to Louis.

Luckily he didn't say anything, and instead Liam said, "Hey, I did not. I gave you plenty of room." And thus, the subject was changed, and Zayn could relax once again.

\--

Breakfast went smooth enough - not that it shouldn't have, but after this morning he couldn't be too sure. But everybody was happy and laughing and nobody brought up him and Niall so he was thankful for that.

They discussed what they were going to do for the day, and multiple ideas were brought up. Liam suggested snowshoeing which sounded like fun. Harry suggested skiing which sounded like more fun. And Louis suggested just staying at the cabin and getting drunk and smoking weed. Which, well, that was Louis. And really, Zayn didn't care what they did.

"Okay guys, let's be serious here," Liam said, eyeing Louis, "we dont have all day."

"I like the skiing idea," Louis said, nuzzling his face against Harry's neck. It was disgusting, really.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," Zayn said.

"Umm.. guys, I don't know how to ski." Niall spoke quietly, looking down at his plate. He looked sad and Zayn couldn't handle it.

"That's okay. We can just start you out on the bunny hill," Zayn said, bumping his shoulder with Niall's and giving him a wink.

"But I don't want take you away from your fun." Niall seemed genuinely upset about the idea of taking anyone away from their fun and being any sort of a nuisance - which was highly impossible. It just didn't seem like him.

"I aways have fun when I'm with you, it doesn't matter what we're doing." Zayn spoke quieter, which was no use considering they were all crammed into one booth. But Niall seemed to perk up at the intimate, and sweet words.

"You'll teach me how to ski?"

"Of course." Zayn gave him a smile.

"Thanks, mate! I guess it's decided." Niall smiled around the table and the mood of the situation was lifted. Mate, right, that's what he was. Just a mate.

\--

After paying for breakfast, and finally going food shopping (Zayn couldn't figure out what cereal to get, mulling over the choices for a good ten minutes, so Niall just came up behind him, grabbed a box at random, and sped away with the cart, giggling, grabbing Zayn's hand and pulling him along, causing Zayn's cheeks to flush), they went home and got changed for skiing.

They all pulled on their snowpants, boots, jackets, gloves, and whatever else they brought along to keep themselves warm. And it just so happened that they all planned for the possibility of skiing, bringing ski glasses - except for Niall.

But luckily Harry had brought an extra pair, just in case. The only downside - they were bright pink.

"Uh, I kinda had to steal them from my sister. Sorry, mate." Harry shrugged at Niall.

"Nah, man. I like em! They make me look fierce." Niall struck a pose, duck lips and all. He looked kind of ridiculous but Zayn thought they suited him. Bringing out his turquoise blue eyes.

Niall suggested he drive, considering he knew the area better and knew how to get to the ski hills. Nobody objected.

So they all piled into the tiny mazda, bodies doubled in size by their winter clothes. Niall drove, keeping the hot pink goggles on the whole time.

When they arrived, Zayn could see Niall visibly gulp, obviously intimidated by the large looking slopes.

"It's not as bad as it seems, as soon as you get up there." Zayn tried reassuring, but Niall only nodded, still not too sold on the idea.

"Well, we're only getting older," Louis said, preambling their exit from the car.

They went inside the little lodge that was heated and served hot chocolate. They rented their skis, strapping them on outside, before getting on the ski lift. Niall even seemed wary about the ski lift. Him and Zayn stood in line for the one to the bunny hill, while the other three went straight to the harder slopes.

"You afraid of heights?" Zayn asked as him and Niall climbed into the seat, a slightly teasing lilt to his voice.

"A little" Niall said, completely serious, around a lump in his throat.

After fastening their seatbelts, Zayn put his arm around Niall, squeezing the back of his neck, catching Niall's eye, and said, "Hey, it'll be okay. I'm here." Zayn thought he could see some of the anxiety behind Niall's eyes leave, and Zayn's insides instantly somersaulted. He loved being able to make Niall feel better. It was probably his favorite feeling in the world.

"Okay," Niall nodded, not breaking eye contact.

It came time to hop off the ski lift, and Niall and Zayn both did it seemlessly. Which was a feat in itself, considering most people who haven't skiied before fall coming off the ski lift.

Zayn told Niall this and Niall smiled at the praise. "Maybe I won't be so bad at this after all." he beamed.

"Of course you won't." Zayn reassured with a confident smile.

Zayn lead Niall to the top of the hill, where people - mainly young kids - were hesitantly trying their hand at skiing for the first time. The hill wasn't very big or steep, not to Zayn anyway. He's been skiing since he was a kid and has mastered even the biggest slopes. But Niall seemed apprehensive to the point where Zayn thought he might back out. Even though there was no way down but by ski.

"You ready?" Zayn asked hesitantly.

"Uhh, yeah, sure. Wait, no. I don't know what I'm doing." Niall looked frantically at Zayn, needing instruction.

"Okay, well, you want to make sure you're hunched forward a little bit, and bent at the knees." Zayn showed him the proper form, "and when you want to stop, just point your skis in." Zayn demonstrated that as well. "And you can just start with your skiis pointed in right away if you want to start off slow."

Niall nodded. "I think I got it."

"Okay. You'll do great, don't worry." Zayn gave him a warm smile. "I'm going to follow behind you, so I don't lose you."

Niall nodded and walked up to the crest of the hill and got into position, pushing off and gliding down the hill. Zayn followed closely behind. Niall was definitely going slow, and Zayn could tell he was fumbling a bit, but quickly got himself under control. But other than that, he was doing great. A natural, he was.

It didn't take long to get to the bottom of the hill, and Niall seemlessly stopped himself at the end.

He was absolutely beaming, his eyes glowing under the bright pink goggles. "That was so cool!" he exclaimed, Zayn instantly affected by his enthusiasm.

"Yeah? D'you like it?" Zayn was so happy that Niall was happy.

"Liked it? Are you kidding? Let's go again!" Niall started to clumsily walk back over to the ski lift, and all Zayn could do was laugh and follow.

When they were back at the top of the hill, Niall went straight to the crest. "Comin' Zee? I wanna get this one down so we can go to the bigger slopes." Niall seemed determined, but Zayn was a little worried, slightly doubtful that they would get to the big ones today.

But he just fell in stride with Niall, following him down the hill.

\--

They went up and down the bunny hill so many times Zayn lost count. Each time Zayn could tell Niall was getting faster and more confident, and by the end, Zayn was struggling to keep up with him.

"Can we go to the next one now?" Niall asked. He was like a little kid, Zayn thought. His enthusiasm was contagious, but Zayn couldn't help but feel that he was just not quite ready yet. He still had trouble getting his footing down right away, and his balance wasn't consistently on point.

"Are sure, Ni? We can just stay on this one for a while longer?" Zayn didn't want to be mean, but also didn't want to risk Niall getting hurt.

"Don't be such a party pooper. C'mon let's do it!" Niall walked back over towards the ski lift, and got in line. All Zayn could do was follow.

\--

So there they were, at the top of the second hill, Niall inching closer to the crest. "Ohh, this one's pretty steep." Niall's nerves seemed to be creeping back.

"Just take it slow, babe. I'll be right behind you." Zayn put a comforting gloved-hand on Niall's back.

Niall nodded and took his position.

Really, Zayn should've seen it coming. He honestly should've been paying more attention.

Thinking back on it, he slightly recalled that Niall's skis were much too close together, and he was hunched forward a little too far.

So when Niall's skis got tangled and he went flying forward in a mess of limbs, somersaulting a little ways down the hill, all Zayn could think about was how he should've been paying more attention.

Niall somersaulted faster than he was skiing, so he had lost momentum, stopping completely, before Zayn could reach him, frantically hoping he hadn't broken something.

"Niall!" Zayn yelled as he stopped next to him. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

Zayn quickly plopped down next to him, not caring about the skis or getting wet, only caring about Niall.

Niall shoke his head. "My ankle" is all he said.

By this time one of the medics that was on stand-by came running over to Niall's side, and he told him what happened and about his ankle.

"I think it's just a bad sprain, but we should get you to the hospital, just in case." The medic said, him and Zayn helping Niall up and down the rest of the way to the bottom of the hill.

It was starting to get late and the other boys happened to be sitting inside the lobby, drinking hot chocolate when they saw Zayn and the medic helping Niall to the car. They ran out, leaving the drinks behind.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Harry asked.

"It's okay, it's just a sprain." Niall said as he got into the passenger seat.

"That's what the medic said, we still have to go to the hospital to make sure." Zayn said in a rush.

"Okay, well, give us your skis, and I'll go bring them back quick and we can all go together." Liam said.

Niall and Zayn took off their skis and handed them to Liam who took them inside and was back out to the car in seconds.

Zayn drove, wanting to be next to Niall, feeling terribly, terribly guilty.

"God Ni, I'm so sorry, I should've been paying more attention."

"There was absolutely no way you could've seen this coming, don't even start that." Niall scolded lightly, all too aware that Zayn was going to blame himself for this.

"I feel like it's my fault," Zayn said quietly.

"I know you do, but it's not." Niall said firmly, ending the conversation.

-

The visit to the hospital was a trip. Zayn couldn't stop pacing, feeling anxious, sad, angry (at himself), and so, so guilty.

"Jesus Zayn, the worst he has is a broken ankle, he's not going to die. Can you just sit down for a second?" Louis said, exasperated.

"It's all my fault," Zayn said for the tenth time that day.

"No it's not!" Louis exclaimed, sick of Zayn blaming himself and sick of Zayn pacing, his own anxiety spiking because of it.

"I should've kept him off that hill in the first place! He wasn't ready, and I knew it. I just can't bloody say no to the kid." Zayn rubbed his hands over his face, tired and worn down from recent events.

The other three stood up abruptly, and Zayn was confused for a second, when he looked behind him and saw Niall hobbling out of the door behind him on crutches and wearing a boot. A lump formed in Zayn's throat.

"Hey Ni, what's the verdict?" Harry asked, walking over to him.

"Just a bad sprain, like the medic said." Niall shrugged. "I have to wear the boot for a few weeks, and the doctor said I shouldn't walk even with the crutches for long periods of time for the first week or so."

"God Ni, I-" Zayn started.

"Please don't Zayn. I don't want you to blame yourself. It only makes me feel worse for making you feel bad."

Zayn nodded, keeping his mouth closed.

-

The ride back to the cabin was a mostly silent one, Zayn not wanting to say anything for fear of another apology slipping out. He knew it wasn't all his fault. But any pain Niall ever feels, Zayn inadvertently feels it himself, hating when Niall is in any form of discomfort. So it's only amplified that much more when the pain is associated with him even the tiniest bit.

It's been like that for as long as Zayn has been friends with Niall. He's always been a tad bit more protective over him than over the other boys. Obviously he still cares and loves the others, but there's always been something about Niall. It might be because Niall seemed like he needed it the most. With Harry and Louis having each other and Liam built like a brick, Niall just seemed the most vulnerable out of the four. That and Niall had a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve, leaving him the most susceptible to heartbreak. And each time Niall's had a failed love interest, Zayn was there to pick up the pieces and eat ice cream and binge watch sappy love movies on Netflix with him.

Zayn's not bitter about it. He loves being there for Niall, comforting him when he needs it and even slapping on the occasional joke when Niall is in need of a good laugh. He just knows that Niall wouldn't have that sort of pain if he were with Zayn. Zayn could protect Niall in a way that's impossible to do when they're just friends.

Zayn doesn't want to complicate things, though. He knows that if he were to ever reveal his feelings to Niall, his heart would get broken, and there wouldn't be anyone there to pick up his pieces.

The other boys aren't even supposed to know about his feelings for Niall. His full intention was to keep it a secret for as long as he lived, but Zayn is a very chatty drunk. And he and Louis were having a night in, watching Glee reruns and drinking lots of booze.

Zayn recalls the conversation as easy as if it happened a week ago.

_"Why- why doesn't he just ask her out?" Zayn asked Louis, slurring his words so bad, they were almost unintelligible._

_"I don't know, Zayn."_

_"Maybe he doen't know if she feels the same way?" Zayn inquired._

_"That could be."_

_"Louis -" Zayn looked away from the screen and at Louis. "I have a Rachel."_

_Louis blinked at that. "You what?"_

_"I have a Rachel." Zayn repeated nuzzling into Louis' neck. He was also a very cuddly drunk._

_"Who's your Rachel, Zayn?"_

_"Niall."_

_Louis only nodded._

The conversation ended just like that, and neither of them should have remembered it, considering how drunk they were, but the next morning him and Louis had an in depth conversation about those feelings. How the other boys found out was just a game of dominoes. Louis tells Harry everything, and Harry can't keep secrets. It's suprising he hasn't let it slip to Niall yet. But he's aware of the consequences at hand, and Zayn is grateful for that.

Zayn couldn't pinpoint when he reached the point of no return, but he knows he's long since passed it, and there is no turning back.

-

"Well this blows." Niall said, plopping down on the couch and letting his crutches drop to the floor.

"Oh, it won't be so bad Ni. We can find stuff to do here." Harry, always the reassuring one, said.

"No, no way. There is no way I'm dragging all you guys down with me. I'll find stuff to do in this cabin. You guys shouldn't be affected by my own idiocy." It seemed as though Niall was speaking to Zayn directly, finding another way to tell Zayn to not blame himself.

"You're not going to stay in this cabin all by yourself, Niall." Harry said, sitting down next to him.

Niall went to say something but Zayn interrupted. "Yeah, I'm gonna stay with him." Zayn bit his tongue after the words were out, hoping he didn't sound too clingy or desperate.

"What d'ya mean you're going to stay with me?" Niall looked up at him, a crease in his eyebrow. Zayn wanted to reach out and smooth it away.

"I mean, that it's not fair to keep you locked up in here all by yourself any more than it's fair to keep us from going out and doing stuff. So, while they go out and do stuff, you and I are going to stay in the cabin, as a compromise."

"That sounds fair," Liam shrugged, "but we should at least switch off, let you be able to do stuff as well." Zayn's insides twinged at the thought of sharing this uninterrupted time with Niall, selfishly not wanting to do so. He instantly felt pathetic and tried to will the feeling away.

But luckily Niall seemed to be on his side, even if it wasn't in the same context. "Nah man, Zayn here can take care of me just fine. Besides, I like him better than all you shits, anyway." he joked. Zayn knew Niall meant it as more of a joking jab towards the other boys, but he couldn't help his insides from fluttering.

It seemed as though the other three boys rolled their eyes simultaneously, Louis saying, "Fine, fine. We'll let you two have your time together." Louis looked at Zayn, and the words were written clear as day in his eyes (over the years this has kind of become a thing, Zayn and Louis talking with their eyes) and he was saying, _this is your time man, don't fuck it up_.

Zayn desperately didn't want to fuck it up, but he couldn't help but feel that it was inevitable.

\--

Everybody decided that it was a good idea to get an early night, considering the events of the day. And although Niall started out in the bed with Liam, it was only a matter of time until he came crutching out to the futon.

Zayn could here him coming before he felt the hand on his shoulder. The crutches making a click on the wood panneling that was loud enough to wake him. So when he felt the hand on his shoulder, he moved over without so much as opening his eyes.

Niall silently climbed in next to him, taking the same position as the night before, his face in Zayn's neck.

They kind of just layed there for a little while, neither of them speaking but neither of them really wanting to fall back asleep.

It was probably at least 10 minutes of silence when Niall finally broke it, "I feel shitty, Zee."

Zayn's eyes opened, his first thought going to Niall's ankle and how it must be hurting. "Is it your ankle? Does it hurt?" he asked in a rush.

Niall's forehead creased, his own eyes opening to look up at Zayn. "No, you tit, it's not my ankle. It's my conscience."

"Oh? Why does your conscience feel shitty?"

"Cus of you, silly." Niall says as if the answer is obvious. "I feel bad for dragging you down with me." Niall's eyes closed and he tilted his head down again.

Zayn was having none of that. "Hey," he said, putting a finger under Niall's chin and forcing him to look back up into his eyes. "I'll have none of that. It's partially my fault as well, I shouldn't have even let you go on the hill in the first place. It's just so hard to say no to you." Zayn smiled and his eyes sparkled. He thinks he sees Niall blush.

"Yeah, I heard you say that at the hospital." Niall murmered into Zayn's neck, head down once again. But Zayn chose to ignore it.

"And besides, I wouldn't have any fun if I weren't with you." Zayn whispered, surprised by his forwardness.

Niall nuzzled in closer to his words and whispered "I love you, Zayn."

It was warm and breathy, and it made Zayn's insides melt. "I love you too, Niall."

\--

The next morning, when Harry, Louis, and Liam got ready to go wherever they were going, Zayn and Niall slept.

The boys moved queitly not wanting to disturb them. Whether it was because of Niall and his ankle and how he needed sleep or because of the way him and Zayn were folded into each other like missing puzzle pieces of each other, neither of them had to know. (It was the latter)

They only disturbed the pair when Louis gently woke Zayn to tell him they were going snowshoeing for a couple hours. Zayn replied with a grumble, but opened his eyes only to see the same _don't fuck it up_ look as the night before. He quickly shut his eyes again.

\--

Zayn and Niall didn't wake up for another hour. This time it was Zayn who woke up first, having to stealthily climb over the still sleeping boy without disturbing him.

He mentally patted himself on the back when he succeeded.

After emptying his bladder and browsing the food that they bought yesterday, he decides to make a nice breakfast despite the time being half-past 11.

He got out the eggs, bacon, pancake batter, and an assortment of pans and got started on mixing the batter.

By the time Niall woke up, breakfast was almost ready and Zayn was just taking the bacon off the griddle and putting it on a plate with a paper towel to soak up some of the grease.

But before much of it - or any of it - could get soaked up, Niall came up to the counter and grabbed one off the plate.

Zayn tried to warn Niall, to tell him that the bacon is still probably really hot but only got "Careful, babe, they're prob-" out when Niall shouted

"Ow!" and spit the bacon into a napkin.

"-ably hot." Zayn finished. He could only manage to look concerned for a second before he burst out laughing.

Niall looked at him crossly which only made Zayn laugh harder.

Niall's facade broke, he said, "Don't laugh at me," but started to laugh himself.

"Your face," Zayn said through chuckles, his mouth pulling up at the corners and his eyes crinkling.

"You could've told me it was hot," Niall said quietly, crossing his arms and failing to look genuinely upset.

"Well you could've waited until breakfast was ready." Zayn countered.

Niall's eyes squinted, contemplating Zayn's response when finally he said, "Touche."

"But lucky for you, breakfast is ready." Zayn said as he set the large plate of pancakes on the counter.

The abundance of food was kind of ridiculous, considering they were the only two eating - the selection consisting of: pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.

"This is a ridiculous amount of food, Zee." Niall said, although Zayn hardly thought he was complaining.

"Yeah, it's almost like I know you," Zayn winked.

"Shut up." Niall said with a smile, bumping his shoulder with Zayn's and going to fill his plate with the breakfast that was more like lunch considering the time.

\--

After they were full of nearly all the food that was made, they decided on a movie day. There really wasn't much else to do, and Zayn was glad to take the oppurtunity to cuddle Niall for a little bit. So with Niall's promise that he would be okay alone ( _I just have a sore ankle, it's not like I'm completely incompetent_ ) Zayn headed out to the local convenience store to rent a couple movies.

He chose a wide variety, fully aware that they probably wouldn't watch them all. He chose comedies such as _The Other Woman_ and _Blended_ , as well as dramas like _The Fault in Our Stars_ , and finally the mandatory scary movies including _The Woman in Black_ and _The Conjuring_.

He came back with two plastic bags, one full of DVDs and the other with popcorn and candy, ready to shower Niall in attention and cuddles.

When Zayn walked into the cabin, Niall was already situated on the couch, lying down on his side, facing the tv. Zayn couldn't help but notice the space that Niall left between himself and the back of the couch, obviously meant for Zayn to slot into. His heart fluttered, and a smile graced his lips.

"Hey, Ni. I brought treats." Zayn said, setting the bag of food on the counter, and bringing the bag of DVDs to the living room and setting them out onto the coffee table, so Niall can choose which one he wants to watch.

"Let's watch one of the scary ones," Niall said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Okay, which one?" Zayn asked.

"It doesn't matter, you choose."

"Okay.. let's go with _The Conjuring_. I haven't seen that one yet." Zayn grabbed it off the coffee table and went over to the tv, getting the settings figured out and inserting the disk.

He grabbed the remote and went over to the couch, carefully inserting himself behind Niall, the fit tight, but comfortable, pressed up against Niall's back. He wrapped his arms around his waist, and he could feel Niall relax into his body and Zayn pressed a light kiss to the back of his neck.

The starting menu showed up on the screen and Zayn pressed the play button on the remote and relaxed into the couch, pulling Niall closer - if that's even possible.

\--

It's about halfway through the movie and the scenes are beginning to get more and more intense and suspensful. Niall lets out the occasional squeak when a scene gets particularly scary, and each time Zayn tightens his arms around Niall's waist. Zayn's taken to draping a leg over both of Niall's, careful of his ankle, so both of Niall's legs are in between his own, protecting him from whatever is on the screen as if it could jump out and get them.

When the movie is nearing the end, Niall has given up on watching at all, and just turned around in Zayn's embrace so he could cuddle his face into Zayn's neck.

"It's so scary, Zee." Niall whispered into his skin, the tickle of his eyelashes on Zayn's neck making him shiver.

"It's okay, we'll watch a comedy next, yeah?" Zayn rubbed his hand down Niall's back, soothing.

He could feel Niall shake his head, "Just wanna cuddle." He whispered.

"Okay, babe. Okay."

The movie ended and the credits rolled, but neither of them bothered to press the stop button, just cuddled until they both dozed off.

\--

When Zayn woke up not an hour later, Niall was snoring loudly in his arms. He was practically laying on top of Zayn, Zayn lying on his back. He had his arm underneath Niall's dead weight and could barely feel it, but he didn't care. He lightly ran his free hand through Niall's hair, admiring how soft it was when he didn't put so much product in it and left it down.

He admired the sleeping boy on top of him, taking in the boys soft features. His hair with the blond tips and brown roots; his delicate, almost invisible eyelashes that flutter occasionally against his cheeks as if he were dreaming, and adorning the eyelids that he knows cover the most beautiful blue eyes that he's ever seen. His cute little button nose that scrunches as he laughs, and his thin pink lips that Zayn can never stop thinking about pressing his own to. The ones that split into the most precious smile and release the most beautiful laugh that is better than any song he's ever heard. And it's in this moment that Zayn realizes just how gone he is for this boy. He would follow him to certain death if it meant he was with him in his last moments. He would protect this boy from the world for the rest of his life if Niall would let him.

Zayn's heart felt heavy in his chest as he pushed Niall's hair off his forehead and placed a single, sweet kiss in the middle of it.

Niall began to stir, and Zayn took his hand away, afraid of being caught. Niall stretched a little, and let out a whine that Zayn couldn't help but think was the most precious thing he's ever heard.

"Morning, sleepy head," Zayn said as Niall opened his eyes.

He smiled. "How long was I asleep?"

"Not even an hour. I just woke up a few minutes ago." _Long enough to stare at him and come to the conclusion that he's the most precious and beautiful human being on the planet_ , his subconscious adds.

"Mmm. I want food." Niall mumbles, his eyes closed again.

"On it." Zayn says, beginning to get up. He finds it difficult, considering Niall is still mostly on top of him. "Babe, you're gonna have to move if you want me to make you food." Zayn chuckles, nudging him a little.

Niall hums in response. "But you're so warm." He actually cuddles in closer to Zayn's warmth, making it near impossible to move at all. Zayn's stomach leaps.

He really does need to get up though, can feel his own stomach grumble in tune with Niall's. So, he comes up with a plan. Somehow, with the limited wiggle room he's been allowed by Niall's weight, he is able to take off his flannel that he'd been wearing. He drapes it over Niall's shoulders, his eyes opening at the soft, warm fabric on his bare arms.

"There you go. Now you'll be warm while I make you food, and then when I'm done you can have your personal heater back." Zayn smiles, amused.

Niall smiles back and Zayn thinks he sees a hint of a blush on his cheeks. But Niall moves nonetheless and Zayn can hoist himself up and off the couch.

He heads to the kitchen, grabbing the bag of popcorn and candy and rifles through it. He fishes out two packages of kettle corn, a bag of m&ms and a bag of reeses pieces.

Once the popcorn is done popping in the microwave, he gets out two bowls and pours one bag in each bowl. Then he opens the bag of m&ms and pours it into Niall's bowl. Just how he likes it. He leaves the reeses pieces out of his own bowl, not quite understanding the appeal of candy mixed with popcorn.

He brings both bowls to the living room where Niall is now sitting up and wrapped in Zayn's flannel. Zayn's heart flutters. He loves seeing Niall in his clothes. It's just a sort of domesticity that he wants to have with Niall forever.

"Here you go, babe." He gives Niall his popcorn and he looks down and smiles when he sees the candies.

"Just how I like," he smiles.

"Of course." Zayn smiles back. "So, how about another movie?"

\--

When the other boys finally return back from snowshoeing, it's dark out and the clock reads 11:20 (so, maybe they did more than showshoe), and the first thing they see is Niall and Zayn cuddled on the couch, fast asleep, the credits to _The Other Woman_ rolling on the screen.

Louis smiles to himself, knowing that Zayn didn't fuck up. With Niall turned into his chest and letting himself be cradled like a child in Zayn's arms, Louis knows that Zayn must've done something right. His heart warms with joy for his bestfriend.

So, instead of waking them up with loud noises or a nudge to the shoulder, he motions to the other boys to be quiet and just shuts off the tv, going straight to their own bedrooms.

\--

Zayn wakes up to a pitch black room, and a furnace by his side. He's practically sweating and his bladder is threatening to explode. He needs to get up and immediately, but he realizes that he's still squished onto the couch with Niall by his side.

Instead of taking the time to wake Niall up and help him to the bed, he just does what he thinks is easiest, and scoops Niall up into his arms, carrying him bridal style to the futon. Niall stirs a little, but doesn't wake up completely. When Niall is tucked under the covers and sleeping soundly again, Zayn goes to use the bathroom, and finally tucks himself in next to Niall.

\----

It's been three days since Niall's sprained his ankle, and him and Zayn haven't done much besides cuddle, watch movies, and play board games. And over time the board in board games begins to take on a whole new meaning.

So it's definitely a welcome change when the other boys decide to stay in with them. Liam suggests a game of Monopoly, and knowing that it's certainly a time killer, everyone agrees.

So after three hours of buying property and getting stuck in jail, and a ton of name calling (especially on Niall's part when he landed on the boardwalk with a hotel, calling Louis a "fuckin cunt with eyes" and ultimately becoming bankrupt, giving Louis the win), they decide that it's time for a break from any and all games.

And apparently that break included vodka and weed.

The party started out in the kitchen, Niall setting out five shot glasses which Liam filled to the brim with vodka. They did round after round of shots, all of them more than a little tipsy by the time they migrated into the living room and Louis lit up a joint, passing it around the room.

Zayn felt incredibly relaxed and floaty, the feeling welcome and familiar. He liked the effects both alcohol and weed had on him. He became more open and unabashed, always tempted to say the things that he would never say when he was sober. Luckily he still had a filter, but the option always seemed more plausible and _there_.

So when they were on their second joint and the bottle of vodka was almost gone, it came to no surprise to Zayn when he found himself tucked under Niall's arm, pressing kisses underneath his jaw.

Niall seemed didn't seemed phased by it, carrying on the nonsensical conversation he was having with Harry. But he wanted Niall's attention on _him_. So he started prodding his finger into Niall's side, trying to tickle him, Zayn laughing more than Niall. He was acting like a child, but in his drunken state with his mind clouded by the smoke, he didn't care at all.

When he got to the spot right under Niall's ribs, he could feel Niall's muscles tense. So he kept prodding there chanting, "Niall, Niall. Look at meeeee."

When Niall finally succumbed to Zayn's poking, Niall had a large grin plastered to his face as he look down at Zayn saying, "What is it, babe?"

"Hi." Is all Zayn said and startled giggling.

Niall cackled and said, "Hey babe, how you doin'?" mimicking Joey from Friends' American drawl.

"I'd be better if you were paying attention to me." Zayn mumbled grumpily, letting his filter go for a second.

"Aww bebs, are you getting jealous of Harry over here?" Niall smirked, knowing that was definitely the issue.

Zayn nodded with a very over-dramatic pout on his lips.

Niall just shook his head and laughed and casually - so casually, in fact, that Zayn barely realized what was happening - leaned his head in and kissed Zayn shortly on the lips.

It was light and small and so _natural_ Zayn almost thought it was something they did often, like cuddle or run fingers through each other's hair. But this, this was not something they did.

The whole atmosphere of the room shifted. Everyone went silent and the joint stayed inbetween Harry's fingers halfway to his mouth. It was evident on Niall's face he didn't mean to kiss Zayn, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, searching for an explanation.

One of which, never came. Instead he just took his arm away from around Zayn and said, "Well, I think I'm going to head to bed, been kinda tired all day." And got up, crutching to the bedroom he was supposed to be sharing with Liam, but hadn't for the past 5 days, instead ditching him for Zayn.

Without his support, Zayn was forced to sit up. He wanted to tell Niall that it was okay, that he didn't have to leave. That it was in fact _more_ than okay. But he had instantly sobered up from Niall's lips on his own, and his filter was suddenly back and completely unwavering. So instead he sat there, silent, bringing his fingers to his lips and tracing them, reliving the split second they were finally on Niall's.

\--

Zayn tried to sleep but it was impossible with the memory of Niall's lips and half of his bed empty. Half of him almost felt empty because Niall wasn't there beside him. He missed Niall's warmth that radiated off him like sunshine as if he were made of it (he probably was).

He needed to talk to Niall. It felt like he was about to explode with how much he wanted to say. Starting with his feelings for him.

Zayn new it was time. He knew that if he didn't, this pain and pining was only going to get worse and worse. And he felt like he didn't have much to lose considering the events of the day.

Like, Niall kissed him. It had to mean something. Like it couldn't have just been some spur of the moment ' _hey buddy! how are you? lets just quickly press our lips together in a totally platonic way!_ ' thing. There had to have been at least some ulterior motive behind it.

Or at least Zayn hoped.

\--

The next morning, Zayn woke up to a raging headache and a hand pressed into his shoulder.

"Zayn, Zayn wake up. I need to talk to you." Niall.

It was Niall pressing his hand to Zayn's shoulder and Niall saying he need to talk to him. Shit, shit, shit. He was hoping to have more time to plan out what he was going to say. Looks like he's just going to have to wing it.

Zayn groaned and opened his eyes to a crazy-haired Niall will red rimmed eyes.

"C'mon. We have to talk, in private." Niall began walking to the front door already in his boots and jacket, not even looking behind him to see if Zayn was following him.

Zayn did, though, and put his boots and jacket on, following Niall out the door.

He took a deep breath, trying to control the way his stomach was trying to digest itself. He was so nervous.

"So.. uhh.. about last night.." Niall started, obviously nervous himself.

"Listen, Niall, we don't have to-" Zayn started.

"No, I want to. It's fine, Zee. I have to say this." The use of the nickname settles Zayn's stomach a little bit.

Niall continued. "I didn't mean to kiss you last night."

"I know-" Again, he was interrupted.

"Jesus, Zayn, will you just let me speak?" Niall said, and ended it with a sour chuckle.

Zayn snapped his mouth closed. Obviously whatever Niall is about to say is important.

Niall wrapped his arms tight around himself, shielding himself from the wind. All Zayn wanted to do was close the short distance between them and wrap him in his arms and keep him warm forever. But he had to listen.

"Anyway, I didn't mean to kiss you last night. It was a mistake and I'm sorry for doing it." Zayn nodded, looking down at his feet, a little hurt at the word 'mistake'. "But I don't regret it."

Zayn's head popped up. Niall's face had an emotion on it Zayn couldn't quite place. Nerves? Fear? A mix of both?

"I- I think I like you, Zayn." Niall kept going, his voice getting shaky and eyes a little bleary. "Well, no. I don't think, I know. And I don't like you, I- I'm in love with you." Niall shrugged. Tears were slipping from his eyes, and Zayn's heart was either breaking or swelling to the size of planet earth, he couldn't tell.

Zayn opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off. "Wait, no, just - don't say anything yet. I'm not done." So Zayn waited. It took all of his might to not walk over and brush away the silly, uncertain tears that were so unwholly necessary.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way about me. I mean, I don't know if I would if I were you. And we're best friends, I don't want to risk that.." Zayn couldn't wait any longer. He couldn't listen to this beautiful boy doubt Zayn's feelings for him.

He walked over to Niall, and he instantly shrunk into himself, tears slipping from his eyes, and ducking his head down. Zayn cupped his hands on Niall's cheeks and brushed away stray tears. He still wasn't looking at him.

"Are you kidding?" Zayn started. "Darling, look at me." Zayn lifted Niall's head slightly, and Niall followed meeting Zayn's eyes. "I've fallen like a fool for you."

"R-really?" Niall stuttered through tears.

"God, yes, baby. Of course I have." Zayn chuckled. "How could I not?"

Niall's eyes sparkled and a smile formed on his lips. "I think it's your turn to kiss me." Niall smirked.

And Zayn did.

\--

Nothing really changed drastically with Zayn and Niall's relationship. They basically acted like a couple before, except now the option of sex and kissing was always there. Which they acted upon more often than not.

The boys all saw it coming, of course. Even if Niall was better at hiding his feelings than Zayn was, they knew it was only a matter of time. So their whole coming out as a couple thing was very anti-climatic.

For the rest of the two weeks they were there, Zayn and Niall stayed in the cabin, not really wanting to be anywhere else as long as they were with each other. So even after a week and a half when the doctor said it was okay for Niall to walk more often on the crutches, Niall always made the excuse that his "ankle was hurting" just so him and Zayn had the excuse to stay inside all day. The boys saw right through it of course, just rolling their eyes and not pressing their offers any further.

Even after Christmas and when school started back up again, Zayn and Niall spent every waking moment together. Even if it was with the other three or at parties or out to eat, they were always together. And if on the rare occasion they were seen outside of class without each other, someone always made a comment on where their 'other half was'. They both loved it.

They became a sort of power couple at the campus. Everyone knew who they were and that they were dating and every once in awhile they would hear the occasional "aww" as they walked hand in hand down the sidewalk. They truly were climbing up the scales to world domination, Louis always said. Zayn didn't care.

He was too caught up in the little world he already had. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow i cannot write endings. anyway... i hope you enjoyed it! kudos and comments are always nice :)


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